Academia

So I started this winter session in fear of both my classes, accounting and finance. Now I'm down to just one class to fear. If you ask me, that's not too shabby. Maybe I'm inflating my ego way too much right now, but I'm confident of passing accounting with ease. The past quiz was too easy, and I expected much more difficult material. I even did well on the multiple choice questions that would typically stump me. I'm not sure if it's the professor or just my understanding of the material, but I am confident that I'll do well in accounting for once. Sure, it's just managerial accounting, and everyone has already told me that it's easier than financial. I'll just keep believing that I'm smart for once. This homework project is making me even more confident in myself because I truly do understand most of what I'm doing without referring back to my notes. Now only if I could feel this way in each one of my classes for the next few semesters to come. This feelings only comes once in a while, so I better soak it in while it lasts.

Why is it that I feel so dumb so often? Ever since high school, my belief in myself has lowered so much. I don't think that I am capable of doing well in any subject, and my grades reflected it. I always compared myself to others, and I saw that there was no way I could possibly catch up to their level. I gave up immediately. Whenever I applied myself, my grades never said much about the effort I put into it. I just felt like a complete failure. I went from being a 4.0 student to just an average doe. In college I started out well, believing that I could really do well in college. Then I started comparing myself to others, and that's when my grades began to decline. I lose confident in myself so easily.

History is an area where I have no one to really compare to. There are a good handful of people who just don't get it because it's mainly memorization and deals with a lot of reading. Note taking differs greatly, and you really need to have some sort of interest in history to do well. I feel like I have an advantage, and there is no need to compare myself to others. I'm no history buff, but I do like a dose every now and then. I am confident in my abilities to do well, and it reflects in my grades. It's a mix of passion and confidence.

Basically, I need to gain more confidence in my abilities. I need to stop constantly putting myself down and start believing that I am capable of performing well. I just hope that this overconfidence in accounting doesn't bite me in the butt by the end of the week.